Not all treasure is silver and gold - Chapter 20

Chapter 15 - When I need you most
Chapter 16 - No black no white
Chapter 17 - All Better

Chapter 18 - Last night was a lie

Chapter 19 - Today would be hell




 

Chapter 20 - It was you

I closed my eyes as the warm tip of his finger ran over the exposed flesh of my neck, which instantly broke out in goosebumps.

Shivering, I tried to gain control over my body all the while feeling it slip away from me with frightening speed.

Every nerve in my body seemed to focus on that one single touch on the back of my neck. The sensitivity of the flushing skin almost unbearable as I started to lose my breath.

I felt like prey. Like a deer stalked by a lion. Ready to attack, while all I could do was wait for him to come for me. Knowing I didn't stand a chance.

Knowing I was at his mercy alone.

I heard him breathing. I felt his heartbeat. He was so close, so close and still I couldn't see him.

"Captain."

A silent whisper escaped between my lips as I felt his warm breath playing with my hair like a hot breeze. My eyes opening when he withdrew his finger from my heated skin, so I could no longer make out his location. I could only hear him behind me as a low chuckle from deep within him sounded close to my ear.

Making me swallow hard, as if a heavy lump was stuck in the back of my throat. Heavily breathing as I felt my brown curls getting damp from the cold sweat forming on my body, and sticking to my forehead in wet strands.

He loved me this way. Having me like this. Scared, waiting, without seeing him or knowing what he was going to do to me. Not able to run. Not able to resist.

As I felt him pace behind me, this morning seemed to fade from my mind and my memories, as his attention for me had completely grown back to the fullest in only a moment.

Why had he not wanted to see me this morning, but was he looking at me now? Was it the challenge? Was it the temptation of seeing me here, alone in the dark hallway? Or was he experiencing the same hot cold repulsing attraction I was so desperately trying to fight?

I tried to fight the screaming urge inside me to look back and face the man that was doing this to me, but I did not want to give him the satisfaction, and show him just how much he affected me.

Wincing when I realized he couldn’t possibly fail to notice my shivering body as he stood so near to me I could almost feel him from the heat on the back of my legs.

In all honesty I knew….I didn’t dare to turn. I didn’t dare to face him. He scared me. The things he did, the things he said, and the things he made me feel. Made me do.

Made me want to do.

His breath was hot on the sensitive skin of my neck as I felt him move closer to me. His body not touching mine, but so near I could feel his heartbeat pounding in rhythm with mine. Taking one beat for every two beats my heart was in need of.

My quivering bottom lip found it’s way between my teeth as he suddenly whispered in a low, dangerous but still mildly amused voice next to my ear. Making me believe he had crawled inside of me and inside of my head.

"Well, well…"
I gasped as my body jerked. His hands suddenly grabbing both my upper arms with force as he pulled the backside of my trembling body firmly against his front with a low grunt. Making me whimper a noise that sounded much too loud for the silent, dark hallway, where only whispers could ever be heard.

I could smell him so strongly on my skin now, as if his essence was seeping into me as we touched, and stained me with him.

He was so hot against me. So strong and intense as I could feel his chest heaving with mine, and his arousal pressed against my lower backside.

How these dark mind games turned him on.

I cringed when I realized they turned me on all the same. After last night…..after last night I knew some of the things he could do to my body. And I knew I desired to feel it again. To share that intense moment with him, once more. To feel that soul tearing warmth of his full attention.

What had he done to me….?

**
My head tilted slightly back as one of his strong hands released my upper arm to slide flat but firmly over my back onto my neck until his long fingers entwined into my curls strongly without pulling.

Making me let out a sigh as I could feel his head dipping down to my exposed neck to inhale deeply into my ear.

"What are you doing here Bammie?"
The questions was deep, low and incredibly dangerous as I could feel my knees buckle. The only reason I had the strength to stand up straight was that I was pressed so close against him and held up by his body.

Once he walked away, I knew my legs would give way.

He wanted to know why I was here, and the only answer I could think of, was the truth.

"Hiding."

I felt a tiny droplet of sweat making it’s way down my forehead, onto my nose and falling off the tip to explode onto the wooden floor.

The low, warm but cruel laugh vibrated against my ear made tears rise into my eyes as the noise shot straight to my groin and spread white-hot lightning through my belly.

"You silly boy…"
He mocked me, still invisible to my eyes as he hold my flushed, quivering body against him.

Loose enough for me to be able to escape, but strong enough to let me know I was not suppose to.

His voice as amused as it was thick with excitement this position brought him.
My voice gone with the excitement it brought me.

Only a moan escaped me when the wetness of his soft lips grazed the tingling skin underneath my ear softly. Throwing my head back as it rested against his lean shoulder. My back pressing against him harder as I could feel his need for me against my lower back, through the dark silk he was wearing.

I was on an edge, on a verge of something high, and deep. He had brought me to a place where I couldn’t come down from, and to a place I had no power. I wished, oh how I wished…It didn’t make me feel this way.

"You can run, but you can’t hide. I will always find you."
His voice was a whisper, once again so close it could have come from inside of my own head.

And I knew he wasn’t lying. I knew he would find me.

He would find me, because I couldn’t run from him.

His lips brushed the flesh of my neck again, at the point my veins were betraying my fastened heartbeat with intense pulsing, and I closed my eyes at the pleasure it gave me.

"I know."
My voice was weak and wavering, but I couldn’t think or feel anything else but his warmth, and his touch.

His attention, once again it was mine. The ice had melted away right along with it. And as much as I hated him for having the power to freeze my heart, I hated him more for being able to warm it again with such little effort.

With just a few crumbs.

Like a needy, begging, pathetic dog.

He let out a sigh of satisfaction that my answer had given him, and I could feel his lips smile against me as we never parted.

His hands leaving my upper body to slide them down onto my hips, as I stood still on the spot he had caught me. My arms next to my side, and my entire body damp and shivering.

My skin flushed, my lips parted, my head rolling back and forth against him as he explored the length of my exposed neck with gentleness that contradicted so much everything he stood for.

It confused me as much as it had last night, and yet I craved it as much as I had than.

His lips danced over me, never leaving the skin untouched as he worked a trail from my ear to my collarbone, as I felt his hands pressing me closer against him.

His erection against my backside with such pressure, a low moan escaped me. A moan that sounded nothing like me. A sound I would never recognize as mine.

Still it had fallen form my lips. Lips that were now moist as my tongue ran over the bottom lip without me even realizing it. Withdrawing it as soon as I found out the inappropriate responds my body made in his presence.

Not to mention my own erection that has made itself presence more and more with every breath he took on me. My body’s need for him. How it remembered what he had done, and how he had made me feel.

I couldn’t help noticing I was indeed letting him push me against him and feel his warmth.

His need for me.

I let him, and it was wrong.

It was worse…I pushed back.

**

"Uhn, you are a piece of art my little Bam. So innocent, and yet so eager for a taste of darkness."

His moan was so heated, I was tempted to look back and see the flush on his cheeks. The sparkle in his eyes.

He wanted me. In this dark, scary hallway, he wanted me. To do things to me like the things we had done last night.

And I knew it hadn't ended well, just as this would not.

Never would this end well, and always would it hurt.

It had to stop.

"Stop."

My protest was a quiet, weak whisper into nothing. Yet I felt his mouth withdrawing from me in an instant. His hands still pressing, but lighter as I forced myself to take the pressure my body was having on his.

I couldn’t do this. Not again. I couldn’t have him use me, and take me as he would. I couldn’t have him leave me cold and naked on the wood once he was done with me.

I would die. I would simply die. This heat would burn everything, until there was nothing left.
It hurt too much. It wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth my already sickened soul.

Without feeling his resistance, I pushed myself up so I was no longer leaning against him.

Without his resistance, I found balance on my wobbling legs. Without his resistance I slowly undid his hands on my hips, and walked to the staircase that would lead me upstairs.

"Bam."

**

I had taken a few steps forward. So slowly and so hard it felt like walking through quicksand. Still I had found the strength for the steps, before he had called my name.

The strength to withhold him an acknowledgement, I would never, ever find.

The staircase was in front of me. Right before my eyes. A few more steps, and I would leave him behind me. I would go outside.

Along with the rest of the crew, he would at least keep his hands of my body. At least the temptation of giving into him wouldn’t be this impossible. Wouldn’t be so incredibly desirable.

Than maybe he wouldn’t have the power to make me feel so immensely lost.

For feeling so numb, and so alive at the same time.

He opened me like a book, exposing me to him, and knowing exactly where it would hurt.
That hurt, a feeling I had never experience before, was too much for me to take.

Yet that staircase did not have him on it, nor would it lead me to him. It was the right decision, to take it, and to leave. To escape, for at least today. To save as much as I possibly could.

That should have been enough, but still I turned around.

Facing him for the first time today. Have him looking back at me, for the first time since he had touched me.

His body was partly hidden in the shadows as the small beam of light shining down the staircase only lit one half of his face. Yet his beauty was as breathtaking as ever.

He looked so mysterious, dangerous and for some reason, he looked slightly troubled.

"Captain?"
I asked bravely is responds to his call. No matter how dark it was, his green eyes were still clearly visible as they shone like diamonds in candlelight. Hypnotizing me still.

"Where are you going?"
In his voice shone….mild surprise. It was a little high-pitched, and somehow the words went straight to my heart. I wondered if anyone had ever pulled from him before, but I seriously doubted it.

He was so dark in the shadows. So tall and so intimidating. Even now I could see him, he was as frightening and exciting as when he had been behind me.

"I am going to find Dani to help him with his work."
I answered him weakly, hating my voice for not staying strong.

The idea to find Dani had been the first thing that had came to mind the moment Jyrki had tossed me out, and it was the first thing that came to my mind now.

There was a short silence as he simply stared at me from his dark place in the back of the corridor. Not coming closer, not making a sound. Making a cold shiver run down my spine as I didn’t dare to move.

"Without my permission?"
He finally spat out in a low, almost amused but bitter voice that made me winch. Made me wish I had never turned around.

"No Captain."
I answered him like a child answered a parent. Or a student a teacher. It was how the power was divided, and I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed for not having the courage to change that.

To leave, or to tell him I didn’t need his permission for anything. That he had nothing to say about me.

But we both knew that wasn’t true.

Another silence. Less threatening this time, but deeper. Thicker. Somehow his face no longer betrayed his intentions, or his emotions.

His eyes not fierce, not amused, and I wondered if I could just go. That maybe I could walk now without being stopped.

"Do you hate me?"

**

I felt empty. I felt empty as the question hung between us.

Unanswered, unexpected and unwanted.

I had no idea what had triggered this from him, or what he expected of me. Why he cared, or why it would matter.

I couldn’t even think of what to say.

Yes, I hated him…..in ways, I hated him.

But couldn’t say it. I couldn’t say it, and look him in the eyes. Something inside of me, didn’t want to.

Something inside of me wanted to deny it.

Wanted to laugh at the stupidity of the question.

Wanted to tell him exactly how much I hated him indeed.

But I didn’t do any of those things. I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t say a word.

If I had seen him, in the light, maybe I would have been able to read him. To understand what he wanted or what was expected of me.

Now I could only stand here, having him watching me, and as watched him in return.

My body jerked when he suddenly cleared his throat. The noise unexpected as I had been lost in that haunting look on his face I was trying to read. To understand somehow.

"You only want to run, don’t you Bam?"
Again I was empty. Again I didn’t understand.

But underneath I could feel heat boiling. Anger, because of his words.

"Like you ran this morning?"
It was the truth. Yet I knew this had been a mistake.

In an instant, the fire was back. The fierce fury in his eyes that burned with green flames. In an instant all the floating questions had burned away, and I knew I had gone too far once again.

"You have my permission. Go."
He spat at me in a hiss that seemed made out of anger and hurt. Insulted, most of all.

Once more he stared at me, and once more I stood frozen in place.

Then, with one quick turn from him, he disappeared into the darkness once more until he was completely taken from my sight. Climbing back down to the lower deck where he had come from.

Leaving me behind, damp, shaking, and slightly nauseous.

He had run from me, once again.

As it turned out, it was he who wanted to run.



And there we go, that was it for this update =P Sorta cliffy, not much action....what can I say? Hihi!
Thanks so much darlings for reading again and hopefully you will forgive me for the long time I needed for this one! I will try to make that up!! In time =P Hihi! Soooo tell me what you think and make a Captain happy or reflective! You think it was too mean, too lame, too little Vam, or just not enough salt?I wanne know it all, but I also like compliments! =P OH dont forget to pick a religion if you want! Thank you all so much my sweet pirate honeys! You all bring Captain Valo alive in my head!! Much more to come!!! Much love pretties!